Thursday [Morning] Musings and Decisions

Sorry if this post gets a little disjointed, but I'm writing it in bits and pieces as I think of things this morning. I'm tired of losing writing ideas because I can't be bothered to stop what I'm doing and jot them down quick. No joke, I thought of 2 things in the shower this morning I wanted to write about about (1 being a great idea for an essay) and I can't remember either of them now. lol.

I mentioned my friend Sarah wanting to go to Buffalo Wild Wing's boneless wing night in my last post. Besides wanting to spend time with people I don't get to see very often, I need a stress-free evening "out" ... away from my family, school, and everything else going on in my life. I happily got up early and ran my "speed" workout this morning on campus and the University-Parks Trail (1 mile easy and then 1/4 mile intervals of 5k race pace [ish] for 2.5 miles) so I could be guilt-free about skipping group run tonight (despite the free hot dogs and burgers to celebrate Matt winning the Glass City Marathon this weekend). Well, I got a text right after I got into my lab saying everyone's meeting at B-Dubbs at 9/9:30pm. My reaction? Ugh that's late. I don't know if I'll go anymore. The B-Dubbs they're going to isn't right up the street from me (actually, it's right down the street from group run. hehe), so it isn't someplace I just go on a whim, especially that late. Plus that's just too late for me to be eating during the week. I'll be starving by 6:30/7pm (usually right around the time I'm finishing up group run and heading home). I don't think I would want to go even if I hadn't run this morning. I'm normally done with my run at group by 7:15ish, but then I would still have 2 hours to either wander around Levis Commons or to go home, clean up, and drive back. Neither option is especially easy. I hate that this sounds so whiney in my head, but it just doesn't work with my day, no matter what I do. I guess I just answered my own question on if I would go or not. Dinner in bed while watching Vampire Diaries, Big Bang Theory, and Grey's Anatomy it is, then. And maybe a walk into the village for ice cream. *sigh* The worst part? Now I'm trying to decide if I should still go to group run and at least walk the (shortened) loop and get some food. I don't have extra running clothes with me, but I can at least put my running shoes back on so I'm not wearing boots. :-/

My procedure yesterday went well. My Dr is a great guy and kept me talking and distracted while he was injecting the numbing agent (my issues with needles are well known and it's a very prominent note in my file, which is why the nurse was so amused by the fact I have a tattoo). In the end, a little less than a fourth of my back was numbed since we didn't know how deep he'd need to cut into the skin to remove my spot (I guess it wasn't technically a MOLE). Luckily, it was extremely superficial and he was able to remove it completely in less than 15 minutes. And with hardly any damage to the skin around it. After he cauterized the crap out of it to "keep it from seeping everywhere", he just stuck a bandaid with neosporin over it and sent me home. I should hear back from the histology lab in about a week. Actually, I'll hear back sooner if something is funky with the sample. I guess they call if something is wrong, but send a letter with a copy of the report if everything is fine. So all I can do is wait.

The Dr warned me about how it could feel as the numbing agent started wearing off and he was dead on. The sensation of slowly feeling your skin again is SO WEIRD - made even better by the fact that this was happening as I was driving myself home. lol. Every other time I've had a surgery or procedure, I was either knocked out or so high on pain killers I wouldn't have noticed. The uber weird part is that I could still feel every needle prick, but not where the spot was cut off. About 24 hours and a shower later, I can feel the skin around the spot starting to dry out and pinch a bit. I'm torn between keeping it covered to protect it and letting it air out and just keeping the surrounding skin moisturized. I left the bandaid on until right before my shower this morning just so I didn't scratch or rub it overnight. Now, I can't even REACH the spot to put another bandaid on if I wanted to. It's in that PERFECT spot between your shoulder blades where you can JUST BARELY touch. And how interesting it is to touch ... it feels like I have a little, scabby crater in my skin, about the side of a thumb nail. I kind of enjoyed walking into the study room this morning wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top and watching people (who didn't know where I went after lunch yesterday) flip out.

Dr M was a little worried about a scar, but I'm not. If I do get one, it should be flush with the rest of my skin. More likely it'll just look like a skin discoloration when I get tan. Like I said, I'm not worried. I joked to the Dr that my body was like a collection of scars and every scar was a story, either stupid or awesome. They're all a part of who I am and I'm ok with that. Anyway, there's no way it can look any worse than that big mole/ spot [crap, I have no idea what to call it] did.

Holy crap I'm craving a Snickers bar right now. It's taking more willpower than I can even explain to NOT get $0.85 out of my wallet and walk upstairs to the vending machine. And I saw the snack guy refilling it this morning as I left on my run so I KNOW we aren't out! *munches carrots with peanut butter and raisins"

I think I talked about this before, but I was kind of bummed when my month of boot camp ended. When the trainer asked me if I wanted to continue, I explained to him my money issue. I just can't afford $129/month right now. Yes, that price would be cheaper (marginally) if I could get a couple more people to join up, but I'm not going to push people into something like that. You can imagine my grin when I got my livingsocial email and there was a deal for a month of unlimited boot camp with the same trainer for $40 (directly with him, not through BCOR this time). Now I'm torn. I really enjoyed working with Eric, but this deal is more expensive than the original deal PLUS I'm hoping I'll be done with driving to campus VERY SOON, which makes this studio WAY out of my way. I don't know. I'm torn. I think I'm going to ask mom what she thinks, even though I know what she'll say. I enjoyed boot camp and it's results, but I DID talk about how I felt like it took away from my running. I don't know. More decisions.

I need a nap. And a vacation.

Catching Up

Woah ... What the heck happened to Blogger? Not sure if I like this "update" or not. Hrm.

Anyway ... Last Thursday was my last day of Boot Camp for me. Honestly, I already miss it. I was finally getting used to waking up early and functioning through longer days. I planned to spend some time this weekend going through my notes from the last 4 weeks and figuring out how I can replicate some of the exercises using what equipment I already have (no money = no new toys), but it just didn't happen.

I chose to be lazy Saturday since the weather was crappy in the morning and I had a new book. But, Sunday felt like a perfect day for a run. It was cool and breezy and lovely. Trying to ignore the last several weeks' long(er) runs, I went out without any expectations other than to finish a loop I planned out. I pulled my sleeve down over my Garmin so I couldn't look at my pace and just ran by how I felt. I had a pretty good idea of the mileage up to a certain point so I resisted temptation until I had to decide if I was going to take a short cut and stay on the road for the rest of the way home or if I was going to add in about a mile of actual trail. I had made it 5 miles on pavement with a consistent pace around 11:30 and still felt great so I went for the trail. Oh man. I could have possibly done 7-8 miles if I had stayed on the road, but that 1 mile of trail kicked my backside and I had to cut off my run at 6 miles. I figure I sped up or something coming up out of the flood plain and my body didn't like it. At first, I grumbled about still having to walk the rest of the way home, but I had a thought about a half mile into the walk that I was GLAD for that time. I COULD have called someone to come pick me up, but it was under 2 miles and I really took the opportunity to think about things I didn't have the concentration for while I was running. Positive thinking is a wonderful thing.

I'm stressing out like never before over this paper. I literally have 2 weeks to get it through committee and defense. And I can't start work on my defense until the paper clears my head advisor. And that's all I'm going to say because I'm TRYING desperately to stay calm and productive (on something, anything) this evening.

Since my future is up in the air after graduation (if it happens, grumble grumble) and I know I'll lose my parents' health insurance in July, I decided it was best to go in for a physical and one last check with my dr to make sure I'll be ok to go without a yearly (or more often) visit until I can get on my feet with a job and all that jazz. Well, what should have been a half hour visit yesterday turned into 2 hours, a round of shots, and 2 more appointments. Lovely. I'm going back tomorrow afternoon for a procedure to remove a mole (we think) on my back that is a bit larger than the dr is comfortable with. I've had this mole as long as I can remember, but I've never noticed anything weird about it. It's large, yes, but it's symmetrical and the color is normal. But, with my family's predisposition for skin issues, the dr wants to get it off. This is where it gets a little complicated. It's raised, so he thinks it can just be scraped off and cauterized. BUT. If it's deeper than he thinks, the lab says there's something fishy about the sample, or he just can't close up the skin without making a bigger mess of it, I'll have to go to a plastic surgeon to have more skin removed (and hopefully a smaller, nicer scar). Oh, and I have to have a (hopefully) final round of blood work done. *shudders* At least I was able to put off the blood work for 3 weeks so I can get through this semester and (hopefully) graduation.

Since I'm going to be a bit tender tomorrow, I got in a nice 4.32 mile run this evening. It was warm enough outside I was able to run in my new nike tempo shorts (holy crap I need to remember to use body glide when I wear those ... not used to running in "short" shorts. darn chub rub!) and a tee shirt. Even though I was taking it easy and focusing on form, I was able to pull out a negative-split run (11:23, 11:19, 11:10, 10:49, and 10:31 for the partial mile). I'm pretty happy with it. It felt great to get my sweat on and have some time to myself to think. Now I'm just hoping I'll be ok after tomorrow so I can get my last speed workout in on Thursday. I HAD planned on running at group, but Sarah and Steph are jonesing for Buffalo Wild Wings boneless night and I have a jonesing for some girly chat time. Wings and beer are acceptable when prepping for a 5k, right? lol. Anyway, I want to get my run in early in the day so I can enjoy some time with my friends.

Power House 5k is Saturday. I'm still contemplating my goals. I know I want to PR (and probably will be able to), but do I want to bust serious a$$ and gun for that sub-30-minute at the risk of pushing myself too hard? I've got to think about it.